Happy New Year 2013

Another year gone, and life still doesnt slow down.
2013 has been a life changer. Heartbreak. Fires. Travelling the world. New friends. Old friends and changes like never before.
This year broke me and made me. Took things away from me but gave me more back. On the last day of 2013 I stand tall, stronger, wiser and proud. It really is possible to have the worst and best year at the same time. Those of you who really know me will know what has happened to me this year, there were dark times where I could have easily given up, but I decided to fight on and make it my year.

Thankyou to my family and friends,  thankyou Thailand,  Holland and every place I travelled through, especially Asia the place healed me.
To old friends,  new friends and everyone in my life, happy new year.

I hope you all see 2013 in, happy and merry and with a new years kiss.
May 2014 bring you all you wish for, with all the happiness and health in the world. Keep your loved ones close and appreciate all you do have.

Goodbye 2013. You changed my life.

<3

Its Christmas time..

Christmas Eve has always been a magical time of the year, I remember being a little girl and watching The Lion Witch and The Wardrobe and The Snowman, snuggled up and getting excited about Santa coming with all the presents. There is such a feeling about Christmas, and so many things about Christmas that I love, Family time, Onesie time, Christmas Dinner, ELF! :-) Although this year has gone very quick and everyone has been saying how quick it has gone and how this year doesn't really feel like Christmas, Today it has hit me and I am feeling festive at-last, better late than never.
















My Mum and Dad have been separated since I was little, so I have always had two Christmas' and two sets of presents. Christmas will always be my favorite time of the year, To me Christmas is all about those we love. Our family and our friends. So this year, value those you love and appreciate the small things with them.
Gifts and presents and expensive things mean nothing, It's all about LOVE. As mushy and as cliche as that sounds, it's true, it is the best gift of all, and costs nothing. So think of those less fortunate then you this year, and appreciate all that you do have, because most of the time, the best things are not visible they are felt.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS 

I wish you all the health, happiness and love this year.

I will leave you with a little festive song.

Jade xo

2013 Top 5 Moments

I know my last blog post was a round up of the crazy year that I have had. There are such highs and such lows, but each low led to a high, and 2013 truly was a life changing year and the best and worst I have ever had. However I wanted to focus mainly on the highs, and the amazing memories that I have of 2013. Here in no particular order are my top 5 moments of 2013.

The Children of Thailand

Thailand itself was one of the best stages of my life. It was life changing. However I didn't go to Thailand for a holiday. I went to Thailand alone, without knowing anybody, I made the 13 hour flight alone, I was there to Volunteer. In Thailand I did a volunteer project in a children's orphanage/nursery. I have always wanted to do this type of volunteer work, and this was a perfect placement. You will never understand the meaning to poverty until you go and see it and live in it. At the moment I am currently a Nursery Practitioner for a private nursery and I started this job AFTER Thailand, the extreme differences between where I work now and the Orphanage and Nursery I worked in whilst in Thailand are so very clear and drastic. The babies in the Orphanage had one nappy allowance a day, they had minuscule amounts of food, mainly a bowl of rice, their toys were broken and lacking, and they found joy in balloons and small amounts of crayons and paper. It was heartbreaking. Some didn't have parents, and those that did had a mum of the age of 12-15 years of age. It was eye-opening. I fell in love with a little boy who was two years old. I spent most of my time with him, he latched on to me and was so sweet and loving. I was heartbroken when I had to leave. The time I had with the children in Surin will stay with me forever. It made me appreciate my life, and made me angry at how spoilt and unappreciative children and people are in The UK.

Meeting Miss Charlotte Wright

Apart from playing Mary Poppins with children in Thailand, I also found a friend for life. Going to Thailand knowing nobody was scary, but also exciting. Before I went out there I had spoke to girls that would also be on the same volunteer programme. One of these was Charlotte. I often think that it would be so weird now if I hadn't of gone to Thailand I would never of been blessed with meeting Charlotte, so it's clear it was meant to be. I now count her as one of my bestest friends, and we are very close, it's odd because when you go to the other side of the world and meet someone, you share alot with them, you are sharing an experience, and you are in the same boat. We have had life changing moments together, rode an elephant together, played with tigers, got roofied in Chiang Mai, and it would have been easy to get back from Thailand and leave that all as a memory, but that didn't happen, we speak all the time, we partied in Liverpool, we ventured of to Holland and had amazing memories again, and we already have more and more trips planned together. I made a friend for life in her, and I couldn't be happier about that.

Solitary time

With some real lows in 2013, I seeked comfort in time alone, It was good to get my head together.
The plane journey to Thailand and the time spent in the airport, always sticks out to me, with music my only companion I had so much time to reflect and gather all my thoughts, rebuilding myself, and in time alone I found braveness, strength and courage. It also made me a rounded person, making me know exactly who I am. I am proud of myself. I have seen some beautiful sights this year, journeys through Asia, sitting in boats, Tuktuks, coaches. It has made me appreciate life, those around me, and the beautiful things that the world has to offer. I never traveled before 2013, and now It's all i want to continue to do.

Family Time

I have always been a family girl, but this year mainly i realized how important family really is. My family mainly, my Dad, Mum, Brother and Nan, have got me through 2013, they were my rock, they carried me, loved me, looked after me, and supported me in everything I have done. I wouldn't be here without them it is as simple as that, we are all so close, Mum and Dad haven't been together since I was a little girl, but that never mattered, because i was showered with love and always have been. I value every second with them all, and this year when I spent time away from home travelling, I realized I never want to be without them.

Time with my Forks

When I went to University in 2009, I never realized that 4 years later I would still have two best friends because of it. Collette and Sherinne. We grew so close in University and it was meant to be. This year I have appreciated every moment us three have had together. I see Collette every week and speak to her everyday, she is like a sister and a best friend, but we don't get to see our Abdou as much as we would like, This Year we have had some fun times together in London, which have been real forking good moments.  I cannot wait for more in 2014.

Jade xo

All in a years work

Today it dawned on me, that yes next week is Christmas and the week after that we enter another new year already, 2014. Every year i say to myself 'That was a quick year' as i'm sure everyone does, as because yes its true, life goes incredibly quickly and if you blink you will miss it, its short, it flies by, but this year i have felt that expression much more than ever.

So here i am reflecting on my year, piecing it together and wondering to myself where 2013 will rate, when in years to come i have flashbacks on my life.

So here it is enjoy my round up of the craziest, hardest and most life changing year of my life.

January

2013 started as every single new year does, false resolutions, promises and hopes, however entering 2013, one thing i did promise myself was that in the year to come i would stop being unhappy and find myself again, seeing the new year in unhappy and in a stuck and failed relationship was not a great start to the year. New Years Eve spent with someone who failed to recognize or appreciate you, may as-well have been spent alone. January was spent working hard in my Media job, producing a television show for the BBC and designing art-work for magazines such as Closer and Heat.

February

February truly was a bleak month. Valentines Day was the day I came out of a three and a half year relationship. A romantic day all around clearly. So being SLIGHTLY broken hearted, i also faced the prospects of losing my home, my job and my whole world in one go.  Being single, is rubbish anyway, but being single because your boyfriend cheated on you practically every month and had now finally found someone he wanted to be with, was a little worse. I wish i could go back now to myself at this time, and tell the girl who was absolutely broken that 'Things really do happen for a reason, and you will be happy, and this is the best thing, and the most right thing to ever happen to you' 

March

March I moved home, moved back to my Family. The whole month was spent in turmoil, I did the whole phase of hibernating, not leaving my bed, falling on my friends and family for support, I cried so much in March that I don't think I have really ever cried since. Believe me when i tell you 'I know how to heal a broken heart' I have been there, I used every self help book, I watched every sad romance movie and I cried, and cried, and wrote down everything in my mind and heart, I let out every emotion until there was nothing left. March was my broken heart month, and to this day, I only got through it because I was a lucky girl to have a Mum, Dad and a Brother who adore me, and held me as a i cried, and made me realise i can smile again. I also have three beautiful best friends, who saved me, who made me laugh again, who listened to me over and over again and who help me up when all i wanted to do was fall. Collette, Caitlyn and Sherinne I will always be forever grateful <3

April

I thought by April, the worst would be over. However I named April 'Disaster Month' You can read this blog post from my previous blog http://crumpledemotions.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/disaster-week.html
I am a strong believer in 'Everything happens for a reason' In April that was hard to believe, but even now i really do look back and think that it does. April i was still tender, weak and a little fragile but I had done my crying stage, and I was definetly getting myself in a stronger place, not completely, but trying, which was the main thing.

So April 15th, My ex boyfriend, even though he had already caused enough trauma to my life, then went on to hit me, which caused a whole lot of drama, with my family, and police, and it was horrible to say the least, I had never been hit by a man before, and I hope I will never again (for one, I would never let it happen again). It was a bad day, but again i had my support team, and I went to bed that night and was already a hundred times stronger and more determined to fight anything in life, and to overcome everything.

April 16th, The next day.. I was at my mums house, and we had a house fire, now I had never been in a fire before, but this was bad.

  

I remember going back into the house after, when it had been cleared, it was eerie, but i remember looking up and seeing this heart in the black charred ceiling, and it made me realize, someone saved us all that day, and that I have faith, not only in life, or my family and friends or the world, but in myself.

I also quit my job, lost my car, and had to deal with my Grandad's operation this month.

May

I started a new job, as a care nurse, and i started focusing on myself, making plans, saving money and getting my life on track.

June

This month I booked 'Thailand' and i started putting all my focus into this. This became my life for the next few months. I was working hard, caring for seniors, which was emotionally and physically tiring. Again lost another car.

July

July I walked everywhere, I refused to buy another car, and I was watching the month fade away slowly, as i knew that in a month I would finally be out of here.

August

Thailand. My savior. My reason.
I was strong before I went to Thailand, but still worn out from all the bad stuff that had happened, I would say that before Thailand I was about 60% healed, and after Thailand I was 100% healed. It was meant to be, and if all the bad stuff hadn't of happened then I would never of gone there, never rode elephants, played with Tigers, worked in schools, orphanages or made best friends for life. It was always meant to happen, it was part of the plan. It made me who I am today, and I will never look back, I would go through all the heartache again, just to get here, because I cannot even begin to explain to you, but In Thailand I remember having a sense of belonging, like it all made sense and it all was for this. I was healed and I could even forgive my Ex and I could forgive the fire, and I could forgive the world for all the shit i had gone through, because i realized, it doesn't even matter anymore, none of it, from August on it was a new start, a new chapter, and I was grateful for all the shit I went through, because from August on I was the strongest and most determined person I have ever been.

 

 

September

September, I came back, Started a new job as a Nursery Teacher, started volunteering with St Johns as a first aider, and decided that in 2014 I would go back to University and do the Paramedic Practice course that I had wanted to do.

October

My 23rd Birthday. I spent time in Liverpool meeting my beautiful pal who became a best friend in Thailand - Charlotte. I got a new car finally and I was making more and more plans.

November

Visited Amsterdam and Holland with Charlotte to see our other friend from Thailand and I also spent November starting a blog again, and going crazy at the gym.

 
 

December

So here we are. I have never been so strong, so happy and so content and also In December I got my own place, I finally pay rent, and I can do as I please. It was a very long time, about three years, that I stopped being myself, I didn't recognize myself. This time last year, I was deeply unhappy, and now I have never been more sure of who I am and where I want to be. I used to think life was rubbish, and now i KNOW life is what you make of it, it's how you deal with whats thrown at you, it would have been easy to have given up this year, it would have been simple to cave in and let it surround me and make me a dark and lonely person. But easy is not worth it, YOU can get through anything... aslong as you allow yourself.

So when you make your resolutions for 2014.. Remember this.


Be kind to yourself
You are your greatest critic, and your worst and best friend all in one, you can only ever
trust yourself and believe in yourself, so love yourself, be kind to yourself and appreciate yourself.

Believe in yourself
You can achieve all your dreams, all you need to do is put your mind to it.

Never give up
Never give up on yourself, others will give up on you in life, you need to hold yourself up and keep chasing the dreams, and keeping yourself strong knowing it will get better.

Allow yourself to feel
It's okay to cry, it's okay to be mad, sad, happy, weak. We are human. Allow yourself to feel everything you have, but if its negative, don't hold on to it for too long.

Live Everyday 
For some of us life is shorter than it ever should be, the good die young, and rubbish things do happen, live every single day as if it was your last, take chances, don't miss opportunities, love hard and live fully and laugh always.

Jade xox

The Boy and Girl Friend Debate

Boys and girls. Men and women.
Can these two kinds ever really just have a platonic relationship as just friends?


I am the type of girl who doesn't deal well with bitchiness or confrontation.
As a little girl i was a tomboy, instead of playing dress up with barbies i was busy cutting their hair off and getting bruises on my knees from riding bikes and climbing trees.
Being a daddy's girl and having a little brother, i was far more interested in Rugby, football and living my dream of wanting to be an actress and a secret agent.
Of-course i was going to do these two careers at the same time obviously.

At school i did have best friends that were girls but i was always more interested in hanging with boys, playing console games and escaping from makeup and bitching sessions.
Growing up i spent time with my cousins who were mostly male. Now at 23 i have many friends.
Beautiful female best friends but many close friends are male. Recently it got me thinking about peoples perception of male and female close friendships.. can it really ever just be friends.. can this truly work?


In my 23 years of hanging with the lads.. most of my best guy friends have either ended up liking me.
Not all.. but most. This meant that the close and special friendship we had.. got lost which really upset me and for a while made me hold back from having a boy as a best friend.

I do believe that there are cases where women and men can simply have a platonic friendship with neither of them ever wanting more, but i also believe that to be a hard and rare situation, of-course this is entirely my own view based on my own experience. Sometimes it will work, but what if one of you wants more.. what if a drunken kiss happens or a drunken heart to heart where truths out themselves, once stuff like that happens can it ever be forgotten?

Will one of you always want more? Sometimes you both have more without realizing.
There you both are, spending time together, sharing hopes.. secrets and interests, you speak everyday and know each-other inside out.. without you both knowing that on the outside it seems more that you may as-well be boyfriend and girlfriend without the sex or title.


Couples are or should be best friends anyway so in my opinion there is a very thin line that men and women can easily cross in taking their friendship status into something much more.

Let me know what you think?

Jade xox

The Sunshine Award

My good friend Collette recently posted another blog post, and nominated me to answer the 11 questions she has given to her fellow bloggers.

So here goes.

1. What inspired you to start a blog? 

I had given writing a blog a chance many times before, however my main inspiration was for my old blog Crumpled Emotions. I dedicated myself to it and was inspired as i was writing for my own healing. After a hard and painful time and breakup in my life, i was writing because i was full of emotions and writing was my outlet. This time around I'm writing because i enjoy it, it gives me motive, and a reason to put down all my thoughts, and trust me i have alot.

2. If you could steal one celebrities wardrobe who would it be? 

Hmm, this is tricky, if Marilyn Monroe was still alive, i would want her style and wardrobe, she is my fashion idol and i adore her. Alive, then it would have to be Kelly Brook, i love that she is a curvy and beautiful lady, and she is a role model for girls who are over a size ten.

3. Name a beauty product you are currently loving. 

I am currently loving Mac Dazzleglass Lipgloss. I have had many compliments whilst wearing these beautiful shiny gloss and it is long lasting and comfortable. It makes you feel very glamorous.

4. What is your all time favourite song?

Don't think i could ever narrow this down as it changes as i change and depending on my mood. I have many favorite bands and songs. One song that means alot to me is Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chili Peppers, and anything by them or City and Colour is top for me.

5. Name one thing you would like to achieve in 2014...

2013 has undoubtedly been one of the worst years of my life, but also i have achieved so much this year, with career paths and travelling. I am finally leaving 2013, as a strong and better person, in 2014, i want to start my paramedic practice course at university.

6. Essie, OPI or another brand? Tell me why :)

Ahhh as much as i adore Essie, and love their colors  I think it would be OPI, as i was hooked on their brand as soon as i had Rainbow Connection. 

7. Who is your favourite blogger/youtuber?

The very girl who wrote these questions, my beautiful best friend Collette at Shrewd Fox, I love her blog because shes so dedicated and her blog is so true to how she is, she is creative and her blog is cute, quirky and vintage.

8. Describe your fashion style in 3 words. 

Flirty, Vintage and Random

9. Name one film that everyone should watch as some point in their lives.

Rocky Balboa Boxsets. Simple as... 

10. What tip would you give to someone thinking of starting a blog? 

Be sure that you can dedicate time, life is busy, and to write a blog you need to take a time out and be able to free your mind and just write.

11. And lastly your favourite quote... 

Anything from One Tree Hill. Ultimately my favorite quote is probably..

The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won't be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair, remember it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, cause most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.

Oh and P.S You can visit my friend Collettes blog at www.shrewd-fox.blogspot.co.uk

Jade xox

Never give up on your journey

No matter who you are or where you have come from we are all on an ongoing journey in life. Life is a journey with no clear destination and like every time we travel the path and destination can always change, obstacles can appear and the destination may have different stops along the way.

I used to think and believe that everything happens for a reason and that fate surrounds us in all we do. I still believe this in some ways but we are inevitably the makers of our own destiny.  We can decide our course. We can decide who we want to be. We can change our destination and we can decide where we want to go. Everything we do has consequences. Ofcourse there will be times that something happens which we didnt expect in life. . Tragedys and surprises.  These are not because everything happens for a reason and that this must mean you will only ever live life one way from then on out. It is sent instead to test you to remind you that your life is in your hands.  You may not have control over events in life but you will ALWAYS have control over your actions and how you respond to it all.

So from today stop and look at your life. Are you where you want to be?  Are you who you want to be. You still have time to reinvent it all.

Jade xox

Hello. Bonjour. Sawadeeka

The time has come for me to write and begin a new blog. In March this year i started blogging for the first time. My blog was called 'Crumpled Emotions' and it served me well. Your probably thinking if i already had a blog then why am I starting up another one? Well my last blog came at a time in my life, where i was solely writing for my own recovery, after going through a hard time and not knowing how to go about it all, I took to blogging, and i felt that it aided me in getting through what was an horrendous couple of months, it was my own little savior. But that blog is my past now and not really where I am at the moment or what I want to continue to write about.

So welcome to my new blog, it is named after myself, and the reason behind that is it will be all of my thoughts and musings, lots of stuff about travel, life and love in general. So enjoy and if you are curious about my previous blog you can have a little snoop at www.crumpledemotions.blogspot.com

Jade xox